It really takes the uninspired crud of the 2010s to make the
uninspired crud of the 1990s seem like gold. Brendan Fraser (who has since
gone on to star in a lot of ‘WHY HOLLYWOOD WON’T HIRE HIM’ clickbait) was at
least the loveably lunkish hero for a loveably lunkish popcorn movie. Almost
two decades have passed since then, enough time for a whole generation to be
born, and Tom Cruise somehow looks even younger and fitter than Fraser did back
in the day. But his Mummy isn’t
loveable – it’s forgettable, if not quite hateable. See you back here in another 18 years.
Cruise plays Nick, a military man and adventurer who jumps and
tumbles through Iraq, rescuing relics from war zone destruction and smuggling
away others for cash. When he and fellow rogue Chris (Jake Johnson) unearth a
tomb with the help of a map belonging to archaeologist Jenny (Annabelle
Wallis), they accidentally liberate the undead Princess Ahmanet (Sofia
Boutella) into the unsuspecting world.
A handful of millennia ago, Ahmanet was supposed to become
ruler of ancient Egypt before it turned out that rule would instead transfer to
her father’s second family. None too pleased, she murdered them and made a
bid-for-power pact with the dark god Seth, but ended up foiled and mummified
Three thousand years haven’t done anything to improve her
mood: Nick’s plane is downed by a summoned pestilence as he’s trying to
transport Ahmanet’s coffin out of the country. It’s not the end of the movie
for him, though. The Mummy has kept him magically alive so he can play his role
in her nefarious world-domination plan, a plan involving superhero-type
fisticuffs and CGI zombies.
That’s Nick’s terrible misfortune. Playing the part, Cruise
isn’t allowed to duck out of The Mummy in
the first act. That’s his.
Read our feature on the enduring (but wasted) appeal of The Mummy franchise.
|What||The Mummy film review|
|Where||Various Locations | MAP|
|Nearest tube||Leicester Square (underground)|
09 Jun 17 – 09 Aug 17, Times vary
|Price||£determined by cinema|