The next Doctor Who: our casting wish list
As Peter Capaldi retires as the Doctor, who should be the 14th Doctor Who actor to enter the Tardis?
Sherlock writer Steven Moffat is also likely to be slinging his metaphorical hook, which means the incumbent Chris Chibnall looks set to have a clean casting slate. As is the way, Dr Who fans have been clambering over one another to pitch for their favourite new Doctor. Ladbrooks has pretty good odds on some of the most eye-watering candidates -- place your bets on Miranda Hart becoming the new Dr Who if you will. Odds are 8/1, apparently.
Well, we'd like to join the fray. Here are our top picks for who should be filling Capaldi's shoes. The next Dr Who should be....
The current quirky young Q in the Bond films, Whishaw is already the obvious favourite and the bookies' top choice. Ladbrokes are giving him a 10/1 chance of being the next man with the screwdriver, which is thrilling. Love Capaldi as we do, we also unashamedly miss having a fancy-able Doctor to drool over (apologies Peter) and Whishaw even manages to look like a Matt Smith/David Tennant love-child, if you squint.
Look, if he doesn't get picked, it doesn't matter to us. We're going to be watching Idris Elba in Guerilla on Sky Atlantic in April anyway but think of that serious face and those competent hands and the gravity he'd bring to Dr Who. Yes, he would tick boxes by being the first non-white Doctor, but that's really not why we love him. We want him to go all Luther on those monsters. Make them bleed Elba. Make them bleed.
Obviously the 13th Dr Who should be a woman. The time has come. If we can't have one in the White House, we want one in the Tardis, it's only fair. And we quite fancy having this one. Greig (who is currently preparing for her role in Twelfth Night at the National this February) is the master of the plummy accent and the light comedic touch. Bring some of that Black Books comedy to Dr Who. Do it.
If this one was wishful thinking, then at least we're not the only one doing it. The bookies are giving Olivia Colman a 5/1 chance of becoming the next Dr Who. 5/1! Donald Trump had fewer odds of becoming present. We already know Colman can do anything: whether she's being hilarious in Peepshow, ferocious and commanding in The Night Manager or monstrously manipulative in Fleabag, and we just desperately want her to continue being all those things whilst also being the most powerful woman/Doctor on the planet. Which reminds us -- is it too late to throw Phoebe Waller-Bridge's name into the ring?
Hardy didn't make it onto the bookies' hot list, but heavens knows why. Clearly the BBC can afford him (he's currently starring in Taboo, which is one of our hot TV shows to be watching at the moment) and he would make for a wonderfully brutish Doctor, wouldn't he? The universe would tremble in the wake of his enormous torso. Admittedly, Hardy does have a penchant for characters that are especially miserable, thuggish and covered in a layer of grimy, greasy, unwashedness at all times (think The Revenant and Peaky Blinders) but we're sure the BBC could sort that out for him. Perhaps the Tardis' shower suffers an infestation of space cockroaches, or something.
No, sorry, not Benedict Cumberbatch. It wouldn't be healthy for Cumberbatch to be in yet another massive franchise, we'd all go mad and start killing ourselves with GIFs. But Sherlock's enemy, the mighty Moriarty? The slithering, sliming Andrew Scott? He'd be all sharp-eyed, quick tongued and Peter Capaldi-esque. When he's done delving yet further into madness on stage as Hamlet at the Almeida Theatre he'd be perfect.
Hot update: Tilda Swinton
Apologies everyone: Tilda wasn't on our original wish-list. Fortunately, Dr Who fans stepped in to correct our erroneous ways, and now -- to our delight and astonishment -- the mighty Swinton of Doctor Strange fame is the bookies' favourite, with a 7/2 chance of becoming the first mistress of the universe. Wouldn't she be magnificent? She'd give us a more serious Dr Who than Tamsin Greig or Olivia Coleman, and she'd be all the more fearsome. Planets and stars would tremble and shake in her etherial presence.